My Begining, and present

Part1
---You cant make some one love you or like you its very clear as it is.
At the age of 8 I met this young,free spirit little kid
during summer, I met him out of church and my brother, they became best friends because of that summer.
We just saw them one day at church and then bonded so quickly.
We spent long sunny days and pool days with him and his sister. Going to each others houses and playing our little games. I never really liked him, we were just summer buddies.I was just a little girl. and he was just a little boy.


Then, He never came back to church, summer ended and which in my opinion didn't really care that he left but to my brother it hurt him. I lived my childhood and forgot much about him, his name came up a couple times but not much.

Seven years later, I passed 7th grade and 6th grade came in.
April 6th, My brother invited a close friend and another one, and him.
seven years really did change him and me. I was blown away by his presents when he walked in the door, I didn't even recognize him. I blushed at his first smile to me.
That night was fascinating, I grew an attachment to him and he did to. Every little stare and touch meant so much, I screamed inside. Hes face was so gorgeous it would make you insecure to even stare back. We stayed up late and
built a little hut and laid on top of each other and all told stories. In that little hut our first innocent little kiss happened. I told people what happened and my brothers tried to get us together but he never said yes.
Another couple months passed and no scene or voice of his.
Then,Summer came and still he wouldn't speak to me.
finally he came over again,

sunny days,mall,lake days,late nights,another kiss,little confessions.
We became closer,jealousy came along at one point for both of us, and we finally were boyfriend and grilfriend, nothing could get any better.
Then,school started 8th grade, he ended it. He broke my heart and my feelings were still trapped inside i never had the chance to tell him I loved him, but every time the opportunity came something had to stop me. The little confessions were, "I care about you, I like you only, I think your the most beautiful thing ever."
Little things like that.
And I realized him and this girl that liked him became very close, and had feelings for each other.
I tried to just ignore it.
and finally i did, then I had feelings for someone else, I got a boyfriend.
Then when finally I forget about him and get closer to my boyfriend,
he shows up at the door.
I'm babysitting a little girl and one of the his closest friends invite him that night when i babysit his sister.
We have the whole house all alone for 7 hours.
I called my boyfriend to let him know nothing was going to happened. and told him I loved him for the first time.
He trusted me,
the night went by very long, with intimation,him grabbing me,stares,him coming to me and laying with me. I didnt know how to say get away, because i was telling him in my head, don't let go, don't move away.
We then ended up in Mattew's parents room,
we all laid together to put the little girl to sleep. my brother and Mattew went to the kitchen and left me alone with him. He leaned up and I did to we talked a little then, he whispered "I like you anna, Ive always had." He leaned in and kissed me passionately like he never did before,That kiss went a little to far and I almost lost my virginity. I kissed back and we made out for a long period of time instead.
Later that night we cuddled and held hands and he stared again in my eyes and I looked back at those big green eyes. He told me,"Your beautiful."
I kissed him this time and we made out again.
That excited,comfort,sweet,butterfly feeling went on and I felt it was never going to end.

Part2
At this point I was truly head over heals.
I couldn't stop thinking about him and that kiss.
We talked about that night and he told me he liked me and every word he said was true. Of course I loved it.
But I remembered He would probably leave me again and then months later something big would happen again.
I was right, But this time it was worse, he ignored me and pretended I didn't exists.
It hurt me and left me confused.
But then again he was immature and didn't know what the hell he was doing.
the guy that was my boyfriend,we broke up because he figured out I cheated. So i lost him to.
I still have feelings for him but i try to ignore them.
Before all this nonsense started he told me he didn't want to date until high school.
so Im just waiting for that someone so immature but that someone I love so much and care for. I cant make him love me but I know he cares but its just his age.